down, down spiraling into the depths...no longer fearing the pain, but begrudging acceptance, an open wound to accompany you on an otherwise solitary journey. it clamps down, pushing against your chest, forcing out a torrent of tears, tears of longing, of regret, of acceptance, but never of consolation.
through many existences you have fought it, always nipping at your heels, but this time you turn to face, to challenge, even to mock it. because now you understand that the ecstatic heights of affection and oneness would not exist without these depths, and that truly they are one and the same.
you used to fear desolation, but now it seems your soul is big enough to feel it, your heart growing to embrace the hurt and surround it. so you feel, and feel, and feel, feeling your way through the night's blackness. and now it surrounds you, all emptiness and crushing weight, no goddess to save, or even bodhisattva to console you this time, going down taking with you only this one thing, the idea of love into the vortex.
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